The hairless rat

I found out today that my love of animals has a clear limit... it's somewhere near miniature horses, crows, and this...

Sunshine

I've always loved the sun (I'm a little less of a fan when it's 102 degrees outside, but overall...). The best is the morning sun. My bedroom window faces the east and I get to wake up to the sun pouring in through my curtains. It just seems so full of possibilities. Anything can happen when it's morning. The day is not ruined yet by all the things that seem to fill up and wreck a good day.

We'll see how I feel in 11 hours when I actually get to return to my home. By then the beauty of the morning sun will probably have been beaten out of me by stress, frustration, and sad stories. For me, maybe the morning sun is a reminder from God that the day is new and fresh and full of Him. Maybe keeping that feeling of morning sun will make the stress, frustration, and sad stories seem a little less dark and a little more open to possibility.

Or maybe I'll get home all grumpy. You never know. At least I have So You Think You Can Dance to cheer me up tonight... don't judge me... it's a really good show... seriously...

So far, so good

Being 26 -- Day 2:

I know it's only been 2 days, but so far... 26 is pretty darn good. I've got a good job, lots of awesome friends, a nice place to live, and a God who loves me way more than I deserve. I don't think a relationship about God is about getting. God isn't a genie granting my wishes when I do what he wants. But it's such a great feeling to try to be obedient, and faithful, and do what he asks me to do (try being the operative word) and to have that affirmed in some context. We shouldn't follow God for what he can give to us, but maybe when we live without expectation of receiving... that's when we are open to receive the most.

Is it just me or am I actually wiser than I was on the 22nd?

A thoughtlette

So yesterday I had nothing to say... to make up for it how about this strange thought:

Have you ever been terrified to lose something you didn't have to begin with?

I hate episodes of TV that make me think!! I watch TV so I don't have to think.

Hmm

I'm feeling very introspective, but I have nothing to say... interesting combination.

Fish Canyon Falls

I hiked to Fish Canyon Falls this morning. It was just as great the second time (but a bit more crowded). It's great to be out of my everyday life and really experience the world. The sound of water rushing and animals moving around, the smell of dirt and leaves and streams (and unfortunately other people's odors), and the different and unusual sights. The heat wasn't even too bad. If you feel like you missed out... YOU DID! But there's always another weekend.

My birthday is coming... my birthday is coming!!

The Silence

I went and listened on Saturday. I went to Bonelli Park, walked around the water, sat at the shore, and just listened. I have been trying to make a decision, and as always this has forced me to not avoid this simple task of listening. I wouldn't say I'm uncomfortable with silence. I partake in silence most days in my job... encouraging others to partake in it as well. However, I more often find myself listening to the radio, reading a book, or watching TV. None of these are bad on their own, but I think I use them to avoid the silence and the fact that I need to listen more than I actually do. By not being near the silence, it's kinda like forcing God to yell so that I'll hear him. I laugh as I imagine God's voice going horse from yelling at me sometimes... all the while I beg for him to give me the answer I'm looking for. Silly little person I am.

I sat and watched the wake from the boats hit the shore, and thought how nice it was just to sit somewhere for a little bit and not "do" anything. In his book To Have or To Be Erich Fromm writes, "Activity, by and large, is socially recognized purposeful behavior that results in corresponding socially useful changes." Society gives me the impression that by listening and seeking after God, I am not actively "doing." I bet I'd be much more of the woman God wants me to be if I simply let myself "be" much more often.

Coincidentally (or not so much) the sermon at church today was along the same lines of listening and being with God. Someday I'll get it I suppose. Until then I'll just think back to sitting and watching the water splash on the shore.

Interested?

Anyone interested in a hike this Saturday? I've got a couple different trails I'm interested in (some are basic and some are medium). Let me know, I'd love the company.

BLAH

So after all the energy to change the way we correct misprints at work (see Bureau“crazy”), now the county has decided to go back to the old way of doing it. Probably because the new way took so much time, no actual work was getting done. Sometimes I just really, really love my job.

Oh, and by the way...it's the last week of April so all my paperwork is due, causing me have twice as much to do this week as usual. If I'm a bit... let's say "irritable" this weekend, now you know why. Long live the full time job.