The Death of Forgiveness

. What ever happened to forgiveness? These days, if someone says "I'm sorry" the automatic response is "that's okay" or "don't worry about it." Instead of forgiveness, all we give out is reassurances that nothing really bothers us. This isn't true. When someone hurts us or does something wrong, we're hurt. At least I know that I am. I get mad, but instead of living my emotions, I too quickly dispel my actual experience for a socially acceptable cliche that's not really true.

. Can you remember the last time that someone said the words "I forgive you"? I can. I was almost offended. At first I thought, "How dare you act like you're better than I am." However, all this person did was give me what I was asking for... forgiveness. That phrase is supposed to represent an internal experience. Granted, we don't always feel like we want to forgive someone... but if we don't feel forgiving at that moment, then saying "don't worry about it" is pretty much a lie too.

Welcome

I just wanted to send out a quick hello and welcome to any new readers that may stumble upon my humble blog this week (or who are forced to read it by a pushy small group host). I hope my odd thoughts are to your liking.

A little office tip

Never underestimate the power of a wind-up toy to brighten your day. I came into my office fairly grumpy and frustrated this afternoon. My supervisor, in an attempt to get rid of the very unpopular grumpy version of me, wound up a little frog toy and let it dance around on the desk. Despite my best efforts, I smiled and felt a little bit better about my bad day. Nothing really changed... but that darn frog dispelled a little bit of the dark cloud that was living above my head.

Five Years

Today marks the fifth anniversery of my dad's death. It's been five years since I've heard his voice, eaten his crazy cooking, or teased his silliness. When I really think about it, I feel like a part of myself is missing. Like I make less sense without him in the world. But I guess that's how you always feel when you lose someone you love. A part of you dies with them... but in turn a part of them lives on in you.

He wasn't a perfect man or the greatest father... but he was good. He was a good man who provided for his family despite difficulties. He was a good man who taught his kids what it meant to follow God and pursue your passions. But mostly, he was a good man who made his daughter feel special and important and loved.

I love you dad.